I am back, and for the third day in a row!
Today, I am going to be talking about my struggle with anxiety.
I am not much of a poet, but I did write a poem about anxiety and you can find it here:
My Anxiety Poem
I have had anxiety since I was twelve years old. I remember that day exactly as it happened even though it was fifteen years ago.
My family and I were on vacation, and once it got dark I started to feel weird.
I was having a hard time breathing, my hands were tingling, and a panicky feeling was beginning to arise in me.
My mom, who also has anxiety, immediately knew what was happening. My dad got me a cold drink, and they stayed up and played The Game of Life with me until I felt better.
It was such a scary moment for me, my first anxiety attack.
Those attacks continued, and I remember laying in my bed each night for years, struggling to breathe as tears rolled down my face.
I eventually found little things that helped make it bearable: chewing gum, bouncing a ball on the wall, playing a game. Anything to help distract my mind, even a little.
As I grew older, I discovered a few things that triggered my anxiety, such as being around a large group of people, especially if I do not know them. When walking through a store, I feel like everyone is looking at me and I get panicky. When I hear a man yelling, I can feel myself having a hard time breathing.
There are other triggers and there are also moments where I will have an attack for no reason at all.
I am now twenty-seven-years-old and I still struggle with anxiety and social anxiety almost every day.
My palms get sweaty, my heart races and I get palpitations, my hands start to shake, I feel as if I cannot take in a deep breath, I feel lightheaded and terrified.
I drink my tea, I take my hot baths, I take my CBD oil, I play games on my phone. I do whatever I can to try and make the attack more bearable.
This is something that I have dealt with for the past fifteen years and it is something I will continue to struggle with.
It is hard.
It is scary.
But I will be okay and you will too.
Anxiety is a mental illness, it is real and it is scary.
Don’t let people tell you its all in your head, you’re fine and all the other things people who do not have this illness say because they do not understand it.
It’s okay to seek help.
It’s okay to find someone who understands and talk to them about it.
It’s okay to have this illness.
Everything will be okay, I will be okay and you will be okay!
It may take time, and work, but in the end, we will all be okay and will find better ways to handle this mental illness.